The Spiderman Fanfics 1
by clonerunner
Summary: These fanfictions are shown to be very...unusual. However, they have been unseen by the general public...until now. Only one person has the courage to show these fanfics who's boss.
1. Chapter 1

Spiderman FF ( Fanfiction) #1 Review

There in the wonderful city of Philadelphia, there was a nerd. His name was the Angry Video Game Nerd. He was a young man whose childhood was ruined by horrid video games that lied in the 80's and 90's.

Now, most people would not dare to touch these games if played even once. But the Nerd and others like him stood up to the place. They faced these games with a hard glare, a flaming rage and a bottle of Rolling Rock.

Today, we find the Nerd in his apartment. But he's not reviewing games today. Oh no, he's reviewing something else. And this time, it's not a movie. It's a fanfic. A SPIDERMAN fan fic.

He takes a swig of Rolling Rock before he turns to the camera with a hard glare, putting the laptop that showed the fanfic in front of it.

He then bursted out " This story is terrible and just plain shitty. I could say this with all my heart. The first story was an page long. Barely an page long at 280 words long with 30 words of added deleted footage just to get you to keep on reading.

Anyway, they screwed up two important details. Well, anybody who's ever been a Spiderman fan knows that Peter Parker is white or Caucasian. Dumbass author. But don't worry, folks, that's the least of our worries.

Anyway, this shows a young 15-year-old Peter Parker who according to the story, looks very Eastern European. I mean seriously? He's American, not Eastern European unless his parents were from European descent. and who lives in the suburbs of Westchester County, New York. Again, how the hell could they screw that up? He lives in Queens, for god's sake. Any person who's seen or read any bit of Spiderman could tell you this.

Like in the comics, TV shows and movies, Peter is in high school. But since we're outside NYC, of course Peter's going to be at a different school. So he goes to some school called " Trump School for the Gifted". At first glance of those words, you'd think that it would be an elite school for gifted children. But looks are deceiving just like a dog chasing a cat only to find that the cat is just a expired piece of shit!

Underneath the name of " judging a book by its cover", there lies a terrible high school full of troubled misfits and annoying bitches who squeal out their calling card like Jason's mom eating a kid in Friday the 13th. Just like in canon, Peter is bullied for being " too smart".

Someone, please explain to me. How the fuck could you be "too smart" in a elite school for the gifted? Stupid, little dumbfucks.

So Parker become Spiderman because of a kid who beats the shit out of him named Johnny Luck. Actually Johnny Luck- Dupree. Who the fuck came up with that awful name? Is he the child of Lady Luck's son and Kim DuPree? Oh, who the fuck knows.

Anyway, Peter gets bitten by a radioactive armadillo. Wait, did I just read that right? He was bitten by a FUCKING ARMADILLO. What the hell happened? Did the author not read or watch Spiderman?

Or did he/she just think " Oh, they're not going to check it. People will think it's cool. That it's different."

What does he think we are, fucking stupid? And what about HOW he gets bitten? Well, I'll tell you. It jumps on his back, practically humps his back and bites his neck.

Jesus Christ! Is this a armadillo? Or is it a vampire in a armadillo's body? Wow, I don't know what this guy was on. But it must have something with a very strong side effect.

Overall, Spiderman: The Beginning of Peter Parker was a piece of crap. The grammar was terrible. It was almost as bad as My Immortal. I'm not kidding. And the plot was overall, fucked up.

So Peter lives with his widowed mother in Long Island and he gets humped and bitten by a radioactive armadillo which makes him Spiderman? If that's true, then he should be Armadillo Man or Armadillboy or whatever the hell they could come up for a name. This fan fic sucks balls!"

The nerd then threw up a copy of the fan fic up in the air and set it on fire using only his spit and ciggarette lighter.

The Nerd walked out of the apartment, slaming the door as he did. He was muttering under his breath " Fuckin piece of shit..."

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

Spiderman Fanfics 2

The Nerd, James had drunk another swig of his Rolling Rock before he put it back down on the table. That was right, the nerd was back. With his laptop. And yet ANOTHER spidderman faniction.

The Nerd began to say his words in the best way he could.

" OK, if you guys thought the last fanfic was shitty, then this one is possibly worse! You wanna know why? You wanna know why thi fanic super sucks? Cuz itis a double feature! That's irght... DOS fanfics made by the same author.

This one is called " WEb of Shads II: Spiderman's Revenge". Wow, that's a typo in the title. No, there are two typos in the titile. Web is two uppercase and one lowercase and Shadows has no o or w.

Tis story features a 19-year-old Peter Parker. Why is he still in high school? If he's like 20 or 21 in ythe story, he should be in colege. Or Harbvad, maye. Those jackasses will take anybody ith good grades. I bet ya thinking where I'm not there. Why? cuz I'm playing shitty games ! Or in this case, reviwing fanfics.

Anyway, Parker is a student at Forest Hills High and he dropped out of... where? Holdnscrew College? I-Is that even a actual college? What te hell do you do there? Do you hold chicks abd bang them there?

If yu do, then I might like that school. Maybe it culd help me from aving to read all ese fucking games!"

Tge nerd then began to calm down. The way he did that was by drinking his huge botle of Rolling Tuck, He thenputt the bottle back down on the table and continueed his review.

" Everything is messed up! The X-men appear in one chapter talkign about llamsa and Magneto and other random shit! So then Spiderman just takes out a handgun, rapes Storm and Rogue and then shoots Xavier and pushes Logan off a cliff. That was...fucked up. So in my opinoin: Look at decent Spiderman fanfic, folks. Cuz this one ain't qorth shit!"


End file.
